Feb 10

Valentine’s Day: The Evolution


I remember when Valentine’s Day (“V-day”) was about getting that bag of 22 cards (1 big one for the teacher) and lollipops for your classmates and making homemade cards for my parents. I remember sifting through the cards trying to make sure I gave the perfect card to the right person. There were never enough of the one’s I really liked to give to my best friends, so I just gave them extra candy. Then, I became a teenager and was in “puppy love”. I remember the first time I got a “real” Valentine’s Day gift. After school and practice, I road the bus to his job at Fish Boat, which was on my home. I hated it, because I always smelled like grease when I left, but I was in love so it didn’t matter. When the business got slow, he took a cookies & cream ice cream cake out of the freezer, gave me a card and necklace. When he got off work, he “took” me home on the bus, because it was dark. Then he road the bus back home…the good ole’ days. Now how sweet was that? Then, I became an adult and quickly realized that some people just stop trying. My ex-husband took me to Taco Cabana for V-day and my ex-boyfriend took me to Fast Eddie’s for lunch (a pool hall). Where did I find these guys?

I was definitely upset with those two instances with my exes and that molded my feelings about V-day for a very long time. I would go out of my way to do these extremely special things and it wasn’t reciprocated. I could only think, “Of all days why would you muck this one up?” I grew to despise V-day. I would go into a shell and not come out for days (outside of racking up the discounted candy). I don’t know if I was jealous of all of the love floating around or if I just simply thought it was stupid. I finally starting loving myself more and began using the day to bond with my daughters. I’d even sometimes go out with my friends later in the evening, being very comfortable that I did not have a Valentine’s. Hell, it’s a way of life now. I realized that one day does not  define the dynamic of a relationship or who I am as a person.

Although V-day is not that big of a deal to me, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t like getting gifts or having something special done for me. That would just be un-girly like, plus I am a hopeless romantic (hint, hint). So stop asking me why I am going to Dallas for All Star because it’s Valentine’s Day. I’ll be back on Sunday, so if y’all want to shower me flowers, cards, candy and gifts – be my guest. I don’t discriminate; I take gifts from family, friends, clients, customers, neighbors, etc. By the way, I LOVE chocolate…Whitman’s sampler will do.

Meanwhile, be in love and display your love…it’s a good thing.

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” – Morrie Schwartz


  1. Mosaic

    The first step in getting what you want is to ask for it. Good for you for letting them know what you want. Remember to love yourself first and everything else just falls in place.

    Enjoy your gifts…Happy Valentine’s Day.

  2. JustTonyaB

    Mosaic, letting folks know and actually getting it is two different things, lol. Since it seems like the weather will keep me from going to Dallas, my view of this whole Valentine’s Day thing has slightly changed.

  3. Jacynda

    Yes, isn’t the evolution of Valentine’s Day from childhood to adulthood? You are certainly on the right track for loving yourself and celebrating this day with your family. The vision you seek is coming until then, keep on keeping on!

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