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Mar 09

Stealing My Own Joy

I’ll start with this caveat: I’m working on my 2nd glass of Shiraz while I type this blog. So, if I slip up and type something I shouldn’t have typed and this blog seems random…well, my bad. With this wine I am celebrating vindication. I won’t go into details about the situation, but justification goes a LONG way and it feels so darn good.

Have you ever been wronged, but you didn’t harp on it? You let the situation slide, but always felt overcome with stress? You could never pinpoint it, but then one day you received some news to change it all and it tickled your fancy and set you free? Well, maybe not, but that just happened to me. Although I noticed that I was instantly happier, it took me a moment to even realize that I let this situation control a portion of my well being for nearly 4 months. It completely amazed me how, within seconds of the news, I felt lighter. Notwithstanding some of the other tumultuous experiences I’ve already had this year, it was something about this situation that I felt I couldn’t change. I was instantly ready to face everything that I avoided for the past 4 months and yell out, as Simba did in the Lion King, “I laugh in the face of danger, ha-ha-ha.” (Don’t judge me, lol.)

I pride myself on a lot of things. One of those things is discernment. I am generally able to assess most situations from all sides. As human nature would have it, emotions get in the way sometimes. Without me really acknowledging it or even knowing it, this got the best of me. Initially, I couldn’t understand why I was so liberated by the news. I do know that in order to be liberated I must have been oppressed in some sort of way, but I created my own oppression. I physically walked away, but didn’t let go. I allowed an insignificant situation to putrefy my happiness.

I started this blog feeling fresh and free, but I’m ending it feeling like a dumb ass (and tipsy). I STOLE MY OWN JOY.

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  1. TotallyRandie

    Just realized my comment didn’t post.
    I was basically saying because of your ability to take ownership and responsibility which is something a lot of adults lack, you actually showed strength. You make have stolen your joy to “not feel bad” but you aren’t a victim and that matters.

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